Deep, eh, readers? A train of though kicked off a few days ago by a conversation I had with my wife in which we both agreed that I am generally happier in my life than she is in hers.
Once again - nature or nurture? Are some of us born to be happy in life, while others, living in similar circumstances wallow in woe?
A run of small moments at which one can say - "Yes - I am content" is a better recipe for happiness than seeking it in expensive pleasures (exotic holidays, flash cars, more and more consumer durables). I remember a friend of my late father-in-law telling us how much more content he was in life when, as a child in pre-war Poland, all that was needed to achieve happiness was a slice of bread with smalec (lard) and a glass of cool, clean water to wash it back with.
What's made me happy over the past few days? A phone call from my mother in which she told me about a new biography of Adam Smith that she wants to buy. It's great that at the age of 82, she's still intellectually curious about what drives our world. Blasting through the Las Kabacki forest on my bike on Thursday night. Looking out of the train window on my way to work on Wednesday and seeing how much progress has been made on the S79. Reading over lunch at the Vietnamese bar round the corner from my office about the Polish victory over the Bolsheviks 90 years ago (more about this soon). Listening to Earth Wind and Fire (what an excellent band they were!). Discovering that Tesco sells excellent Chilean and Australian dry red wines for less than ten zlotys. Cooking breakfast for Moni this morning (scrambled eggs with ham). These things all brought about a state of mind that I could consciously associate with 'happiness'.
This story from today's Daily Telegraph (stumbled upon as so often by chance), is extremely interesting. Apparently, vivid dreamers have better memories than those who wake up in remembering nothing that they've dreamed. There's a lot more beneath the surface of this one - vivid dreamers have other characteristics (higher IQs, greater imagination) than those who dismiss them as 'dreamers'. I would go further; vivid dreamers are happier individuals than those who get out of bed in the morning thinking nothing's happened in their minds over night.
So it is a nature thing? A happiness gene? Well, I think so.
A controversial linkage - but one which I believe neuroscientists will be pursuing over the next decades.
Earth, Wind, and Fire are still playing:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ste-michelle.com/events/concertCalendar
I don't know if the Tesco wine you are buying is their own brand, but if so and there are occasions when you prefer not to have a supermarket label, try looking on the neighbouring shelf space where you may find the same wine from the original producer with a 'cork' rather than a screw cap. The price is often a zloty or so different - in a couple of cases that I recall (pun not intended), they were cheaper. Sadly Tesco in Pruszków (and maybe in all Poland) has stopped selling the 14/15zl 'Reserve' wines that were my guests' favourites.
ReplyDeleteLidl is my second wine shop. The price range is the same as Tesco's own brand and the quality is, if anything, higher, although the choice more limited. Their purchasing base is European, but that's fine by me and the change of stock gives me choice over time. However, I get impatient at having to ring the bell and wait for the cashier to arrive: hence it's secondary status.
ReplyDeleteOnce again - nature or nurture? Are some of us born to be happy in life, while others, living in similar circumstances wallow in woe?
My answer is short. Happiness hinges upon the gap between expectations and reality. Some people are happy to have any job and earn any money because they could be jobless. Other have good jobs but are unhappy because they could have better ones. The same can apply to other realms of life, therefore humans should learn to be happy with what they have.
I'm a bit confused with the relation between "happy" and "szczęśliwy". In Polish we don't use "szczęśliwy" very often, it's a really big word. In English "happy" appears widely and for me doesn't sound very special. Could you please write something about it?
ReplyDeletePaulina - just for you, there will be a special post on this very subject later today!
ReplyDelete@Michael
ReplyDeleteThat definitely must be a gene thing. And not a word more in case Małgosia should read this one.
@ Toyah
ReplyDeleteMore on this subject soon, and indeed coming shortly, a review of A Serious Man which Moni and I watched last week in the cinema and again over the weekend on DVD.
@ Steve
ReplyDeleteJust sipping the Tesco Aussie dry red - it is extremely good for 8.35 zlotys! I must conclude that Auchan has had its day. It is cheaper, however, on branded wines (Antares Carmenere from Chile, my everyday wine of choice, is 21zł at Tesco and 19zł at Auchan).
@ Bartek
Entirely concur. To quote William DeVaughn's 1974 hit, "Be thankful for what you got", "You may not have a car at all/But remember, brother or sister, you should still stand tall".
I give thanks to God twice a day, while I brush my teeth (two minutes at least).