Am I seeking God - or am I seeking Understanding? The latter, to be honest - names, labels don't help much. I am guided primarily by instinct, by what I intuit about the metaphysical. It is an in innate, lifelong drive to understand my deepest, most sincerely held feelings about the Infinite and Eternal. And it is something that neither reductionist classical science nor organised religion can answer.
I know I am searching in generally the right direction. I also know I'm a long way away in terms of absolute azimuth heading and distance. And I believe that this distance is far, far greater than can be measured in numbers of successive lifetimes. Progress is slow; sometimes it comes by way of unbidden insights - channelling of Universal truths, in those moments when I am tuned in and receiving. Sometimes progress can come from reading a book or just a short article about a new discovery or spiritual insight. A new line of inquiry comes along, a new door swings slightly open, revealing light from beyond.
Who are my gurus, my mentors? I have none - if I read something by a philosopher or scientist that furthers my understanding, I'd be looking to nuance that rather than try to deepen it. Guides I do have - people along the way in my life who occasionally make a suggestion that opens a new door to new vistas. My brother is chief among this group of guides in terms of volume of suggestions and ideas. The frontiers of science - at the subatomic and galactic levels - and philosophy - in particular the philosophy of mind - these are the places to look for those keys that can unlock further doors. Or just find doors you hadn't yet known existed.
The study of religious texts is a worthwhile pursuit, as long as you are open to looking at those texts not just literally or as metaphor, but as myths arising from our collective consciousness over the millennia. Seeking answers at the meta-level. And philosophy, the 'why' of why we exist, can be the ultimate meta-level.
My broad advance along many fronts will not be rapid, but it will be joined up. I am a generalist rather than a specialist. I am holding out for a long life because I'm a slow and plodding learning, and a breadth of learning requires decades more growth in understanding. Hence, I am grateful for my health and try not to allow complacency to creep up on me - "because last year was good, next year will be good too." There is, I strongly feel, a supernatural connection between will and outcome - maybe quantum physics will be able to explain that one day.
In the meantime, Lent is rapidly approaching the end; four days left, and a summing up will soon be in order.
This time last year:
Anacyclosis - what goes round, comes round
This time three years ago:
Winter returned for a morning
This time four years ago:
Globalisation and the politics of identity
This time seven years ago:
More photos from Edinburgh
This time eight years ago:
Edinburgh continues to fascinate
This time nine years ago:
Ealing in bloom - early spring
This time 13 years ago:
Swans arrive in Jeziorki
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