Wednesday, 19 March 2025

Ego's journey through human life – Lent 2025: Day 15

As I age, the flame of my ego turns down from a 7 to a 3; then on towards a 1 before it is inexorably extinguished. Yet the flame of my consciousness grows in strength from year to year, along with my understanding of reality. And with age I grow in wisdom. Whilst the ego is visible to all (boastfulness, garrulousness, displays of status symbols), consciousness is silent and unseen.

In childhood I was both they highly conscious mądry Michaś and at the same time the rather silly, ego-driven głupi Michaś. Now, while 'głupi Michaś' would occasionally do or say stupid things – głupi Michaś rarely had the upper hand. When left to his own devices, it was 'mądry Michaś' that was in charge, spending time playing, observing, reading, pondering, playing, imagining, experiencing, thinking, playing, watching the clouds – feeling what it is to be alive – again

In adolescence, however, that conscious, wise, self was almost entirely pushed aside by testosterone-fuelled ego. Yet the wise self clung on somehow. In adulthood, it crept back gradually, pushing away the folly of youth. Mądry Michał finally emerged triumphant, around the time I reached the age of maturity, which I now recognise as being 65. But this very statement smacks of boastfulness, which suggests that the ego is still lurking there in the mix. It is hard to shed one's ego totally. Mindfulness helps.

The human condition

Whether you are a physicalist (everything is matter) or an idealist (consciousness is fundamental), the truth is that your biological body is subject to entropy, just like everything else composed of matter. It is the ultimate destiny of all matter is to break back down into random particles. To the physicalist/materialist (I use the terms interchangeably) who considers consciousness to be a mere product of neuronal activity, the process of ageing is tragic. One's youth fades, one's strength ebbs, and all that there's to look forward to is decay, suffering and oblivion.

Yet Consciousness abides. It does! I feel certain of it. Consciousness was there at the beginning, willing there to be Something rather than Nothing. Consciousness will be there after the end of all matter. And it is present everywhere. It survives matter. It survives entropy. Grasp this, and ageing, and what comes after – death – hold no fear. 

I asked Google Gemini's Imagen 3.0 to create an illustration in the Arts & Crafts style entitled The Human Condition. Rather nice, don't you think?

And the same title, this time in Mid-Century Modern style. Isolation and materialism have taken over. "I am no longer part of a community, but I have things."


Lent 2024: Day 15
Aligning Prayer with Cosmic Purpose

Lent 2023, Day 15
Intuition and instinct

Religious belief, practice, inquiry and experience

Lent 2021: Day 15
The Afterlife - Faith and Doubt

Lent 2020: Day 15
Rites and Rituals

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