Sunday 2 May 2010

Night train, carry me home

All aboard... the NIGHT train!* [Open in new window so you can listen to James Brown while continuing to read this post in this one]

So there I am in Kraków, half past ten at night, and keen on getting back to W-wa Jeziorki. I wheel my bicycle through the Planty, full of revelers of every nationality, to Kraków Główny station to assess the chances. I'm in luck. There's a TLK train (Tanie Linie Kolejowe - Cheap Railway Lines) at 23:20. It's the long distance night train from Zakopane to Gdynia via Kraków, Dąbrowa Górnicza Ząb (!) Częstochowa Osobowa, Warsaw, Malbork and Gdansk (Główny, Wrześć and Oliwa). And also stopping at small places few have heard of - Krzeszowice, Trzebinia, Jaworzno Szczakowa, Myszków, Prabuty.

The Romance of the Rails is felt at its most intense on a night train. I remember my first night journey by train; from Wrocław to Kłodzko in 1976, steam-hauled by my favourite loco, the Ty-2. I spent the whole time with my head out of the window, catching the soot and burning embers in my face, the smell of coal burning, passing sleeping towns and villages. Being on a night train is not about what you can see out of the window, but what you can imagine...

Miami, Florida
Atlanta, Georgia
Raleigh, North Carolina, hey!
Washington D.C.
Oh, and Richmond, Virginia too
Baltimore, Maryland
Philadelphia
New York City, take me home
Boston, Massachusetts,

And don't forget New Orleans
The home of the blues
Oh yeah
Night train, night train, night train
Night Train, carry me home...

Leaving Blackpool-in-the-Tatras at eight in the evening, it arrives in the town that's the final berthing place of the ORP Blyskawica at eleven the next morning. For me, the time between departure from Kraks and arrival in Warsaw will give me time to snooze a while. The ticket between the two cities costs a mere 51 zlotys (11 quid).

Parking my bike at the locomotive end of the front carriage where it won't block passengers, I get into the first compartment, which I share with a Radio Maryja listener all the way to Częstochowa. A deeply scary experience. Apparently, the European Union is the new USSR. (Funny that - I've not heard of mass deportations, show trials, archipelagos of forced labour camps or executions of millions of class enemies by President Herman van Rompuy's henchmen.) Brussels is run by freemasons ("do you know what freemasons are?"); there is a 14-story building there that houses a gigantic computer, called 'the Beast' that, when the time comes, will control every one of us through microchips. Says a Greek monk from the monastery on Mount Athos, so it must be true. The scariest thing about this lady is that she has a Master's degree and a PhD.

Neither of the two stations before Częstochowa has a single signboard saying what it's called, so my fellow passenger is understandably distressed about the possibility of missing her stop, especially as the train's running late and we don't know where we are. Rather than bemoan the wretched state of Poland's railway stations, Dr Halina continues to warn me about microchips, which have been implanted into the people of Boston in 2001.

Fortunately, I'm spared any more apocalyptic visions as the train pulls into Częstochowa, where extra carriages are added to the train. While they're being shunted into place, I witness an interesting sight. Overlooking the tracks at Częstochowa Osobowa station is a wooden hut; two men are chasing what looks like a small fat beige dog that's broken through the chicken wire fence. Except - it's not a dog - it's a piglet. It's two o'clock in the morning, you will understand. Two grown men are running around the railway tracks in Częstochowa at 2 o'clock in the morning chasing a piglet.

In the next compartment are a group of Polish soldiers, back from duty in Afghanistan, wearing those desert uniforms so familiar from the world's TV news broadcasts, with Polish national colours on their shoulders. The guys have been laughing and joking all the way, so relieved to be home safely. Poland's new-style professional army is something to be proud of, compared to the gangs of pissed-up conscripts who until last year used to disgrace public transport as they ended their 18 month compulsory national service.

As the train pulled out Częstochowa, I had the compartment to myself, so I remove my shoes and nod off, waking up just before W-wa Zachodnia station, where the train arrives half an hour late. It's raining again, so I wait for a Radom-bound local train and jump off at W-wa Jeziorki, arriving home 26 hours after setting off yesterday.

Above: Night train passing through W-wa Jeziorki, en route for Kraków, August 2010

* If you can stand the excitement, watch The Greatest Man That Ever MOVED getting on down to Night Train live. Turn up the volume, set screen mode to full size, and enjoy. Mr M. Jackson is a fruity dwarf by comparison.

5 comments:

Ryszard Wasilewski said...

Ah, what memories, the Ty-2, flying embers glancing of the face, and all that. I spent my entire childhood sitting on a wall watching a shunting yard, with the occasional Gdansk-Warsaw express roaring by Biskupia Gorka (South end Gdansk). Big highlight of the day: the Luks-torpeda. They don't make embers like that any more. Or them torpedas either.

Jeannie said...

I switched over to look at the "half mountain" and noticed your reference to the Bill Bryson comment. Eerily my left elbow was resting on his book, A Walk in the Woods, which was opened as I'd just referred to something in it prior to your blog.

I wonder what the rules are exactly about walking in single file along that trail--if they're not told or if they're blatantly disregarding it. How much damage can occur before civil engineers need to come in and assess the safety or reconstruction, etc.? Judging by the collapsed bridges around town, I am hoping they're more proactive on this issue.

James Brown's Night Train live was very funny. His ankles are like propellers whisking him across the floor (probably where MJ got his MW).

Anonymous said...

Correction: over last yers the duration of compulsory military service has been gradually reduced to just 9 months. If you met, over last few years, any conscripts who just ended 18 month service, they had every right to be pissed...

Or maybe not. There was an attitude change. As the army became more selective in choosing its personnel (and as the unemployment rate rose), at least some parts of the population started viewing the conscription as an opportunity, not a nuisance.

pinolona said...

I think I may have taken that train... it took until 6am to get to Warsaw (we had miejsce do lezenia) and then speeds on to Gdynia in a couple of hours flat.

Michael Dembinski said...

Ryszard - Lukstorpeda! Wow! Legenda Panie!

Jeannie - Bill Bryson is the patron saint of bloggers. Agreed in Kraks at the Blogmeet. A clip of James Brown moving like no human has done before or since. Purest excitement. Sobering to think that the audience must be in their early 60s by now!

Anon - yes, you're right - the conscription period was progressively shortened before the draft was finally abolished.

Pinolona - steady on! It's still six hours from Warsaw to Gdynia on this train! Did they have TLK in your days in Poland? They are generally slower than InterCity (being the low-cost brand).