Once it was all so easy. To get from anywhere to anywhere by rail in Poland, there was but one carrier -
PKP. Polskie Koleje Państwowe (nicknamed
Płać Konduktorowi Połowę ("Pay the Conductor Half" in the old system). Incidentally, the logic back then was as follows: It was your duty as a patriotic Pole to do your damnedest to bankrupt that communist system imposed on Poland by the Red Army. The win-win-win scenario was not to buy a ticket, but instead to offer the conductor half of the money you would have paid. This way, the state is one railfare closer to bankruptcy, the conductor (earning the equivalent of $20 a month) would be grateful, and you'd save money. In those days, when every second railway worker in Europe was employed on Poland's railways, PKP was a state-within-a-state, with its own police force, hospitals, holiday resorts etc. At the height of the Cold War, it was a ministry, taking orders from Moscow, its role subordinated to the exigencies of the Kremlin. (Read about the building of the
Łuków to Skierniewice line - strategically vital to getting Soviet forces to the front line should the Cold War have ever turned hot.) But I digress...
These days, PKP has been dragged screaming and kicking into line with European norms, a monolith dismantled into various operating companies, awaiting privatisation. Local trains around Warsaw are now Koleje Mazowieckie, regional services are operated by local authorities, and new brand names (InterRegio, Tanie Linie Kolejowe) have appeared, offering "competition" to existing brands like
InterCity. Except your average travelling public is not, as yet, quite
au fait with who does what, from where to where, and for how much.
Late last year, I had a guest speaker turning up two hours late at a conference because he boarded an InterRegio train to Warsaw from Kraków rather than an InterCity one. And yesterday, in Kraków, Eddie and I made that swift and easy connection from the bus station to the railway station to discover... that the ticket office at the end of the connecting subway only sold tickets (and gave information) about InterRegio trains. So we had to march 400 metres with luggage to the main station building (now a long way from where the platforms are) to buy InterCity tickets. And march 400 metres back to Platform 5 for the Warsaw-bound train.
And InterCity... a total lottery when it comes to service. I've pointed out in
past posts that power sockets for laptops are either available by every single second-class seat - or not at all (not even in first); or that you can get proper old-school compartments or bus-style seating in open carriages. Eddie points out that in some carriages you get a green button to press to effortlessly slide the door open; on others you have to wrestle with latches, and use brute force to open the wretched thing to let you off the train before it moves off. And Wars, InterCity's crowning glory - in some trains (like our one to Kraków), elegant tables, with lamps; ceramic plates and metal cutlery; on others, paper plates, plastic cutlery (same prices!) and all the ambience of a fast food outlet in Skarżysko Kamienna (the one by the station advertising 'Hod Dogs'). Put it another way - our journey to Kraków by PKP Intercity was excellent (albeit without laptop power points in first); the journey back was by contrast disappointing. Both, however, were on time, and to the minute.
Which makes a change.
Indeed.
When will Poland be able to boast as many railway operators as 1940s America?
“I know you heard of the Chatanooga choo-choo,
The Rock Island, the New York Central,
The New Haven and Hartford, the Pennsylvania,
The Missouri Pacific, the Southern Pacific,
The Northern Pacific is terrific, ah, but Jack,
You’ve heard of the IC and the Santa Fe,
But you got to take a ride on the TP”
(Intro to Louis Jordan's
Texas and Pacific)