"When I was a child, I understood as a child" - Lent 2022: Day 38

We enter the world as mewling puking infants, unable to hold our gaze on anything; only feeding, crying, sleeping. But as soon as the infant becomes a child, it sets off on a life-long journey of making sense of the world around it. Intellect begins to chisel away at the monolithic blocks surrounding the child, from which ever-more nuanced statues emerge. 

[Incidentally, I am certain that we are conscious as we experience birth. My frequent 'birth-canal' dreams - I had one last night, and the night before - where I am squeezing through a tight or restricted space - suggest a proto-memory of the event.

My earliest memories are not so much memories, but memories of memories. A photo of me aged one year and three months, kneeling on a chair besides a Christmas tree is one of those 'telescoped' memories; when I looking at it as a child, I recalled that Christmas - but soon I no longer remembered the moment, only a recollection of having once remembered that moment. I have strong memories of living in South Wales (for about six months before starting nursery school in September 1961), but hardly any memories of our journey across Europe to Poland that summer.

One very significant memory which I still do recall I have written about last May; it speaks of my conviction of 'having lived before' from childhood.

Formal education, from pre-school to post-grad, up to 20 years typically, instils into the growing human a set of facts and tool-sets from which professional mastery should emerge, in the rigour of work. Our understanding, therefore, becomes more fine-tuned over time. Everyday acts, such as reading newspapers or watching current-affairs or popular science shows on TV or online boost that understanding; but only if we are consciously open to learning, to furthering our intellectual horizons.

But the more we learn, the more we learn that we have yet to learn. Accomplished specialists rarely have a strong grasp of subjects beyond their scope - genuine polymaths who can speak authoritatively about science and philosophy are rare, but these are the people whose podcasts I seek out. Anyone who tells me outright that qualia are an illusion I put into the same category as those who tell me that God created the world in six days.

That same consciousness I felt as a child, vivid, rich, deep, connected - I still experience today. Memories of those moments are real; my quest for understanding involves what they are about.

This time last year:
But is it important? 

This time five years ago:
Conscious prayer

This time eight years ago:
Putin - Stalin - history repeating?

This time nine years ago:
Remembering Margaret Thatcher

This time 12 years ago:
Katyń - genocide?

This time 13 years ago:
Blazing Warsaw bus

This time 15 years ago:
Warsaw's suburban electric trains