A family 'what-if' and the soul

A thought struck me in the middle of the night. My father was one of three sons; my mother was one of three daughters. The age-range between the three Dembinski boys and the three Bortnik girls was about the same as the difference between me and my brother. 

What, then, if my parents had had another child – with the statistical probability of the child being a boy – between me (born in October 1957) and Marek (born in January 1963)?

I use Bayesian inference to suggest he would also have been given a Christian name beginning with an 'M' that works reasonably well in Polish as well as in English, so a Marcin/Martin rather than a Mieczysław. As I lay awake in bed, so many questions followed. Had my parents planned for such a family – and planners they were – to replicate their own childhood family structures, how would our lives had shaped up had a Marcin been born in late 1960? 

Would a third child have prompted an earlier house move – to a bigger house in a shabbier neighbourhood maybe – or would the extra expenditure on food (clothing being passed down) delayed a house move? Would Marcin have passed his Eleven Plus exam and gone to a grammar school as I did (by the time Marek finished primary school, selective education had been replaced by the comprehensive system)? And which university would he have chosen?

I'm sure Marcin would also have been an 'Airfix boy', as Marek and I were, as well as joining the Polish scouts and going to Polish Saturday school. But would he have felt more Polish (as I did) or more British (as Marek did)? And where would Marcin have ended up living? Stoke-on-Trent or Sopot?

What would Marcin be like? Any extraordinary powers? A gifted musician, for example? A great chess player? Left- or right-brain-hemisphere dominance? On the autism spectrum or struggling with attention deficit? Or a bit of both? Slightly taller than Marek but slightly shorter than me? What about family dynamics? Would I, as a two-year-old, have been as jealous of Marcin's birth as Moni was of her brother being born when she was that age? (As it was, by the time Marek was born, I was already at primary school and a baby brother was a minor distraction rather than a rival for my parents' love.) Would Marcin have grown up siding more with me against Marek, or with Marek against me? 

And had there been a Marcin, would Marek have been different? Well of course! Far more different to how he is than how different I would have been to how I am, given the effect of male hormones in the womb after successive pregnancies; birth order is significant.

Marcin might have been christened 'Marek', the name 'Marcin' being used for Marek; how would my brother's personality been changed by the simple substitution of his name? Nominative determinism?

I have often pondered on whom I'd have been had my parents never met. Intuitively, my answer is – different ego, same consciousness. Different parents, different body; but fundamentally I'd have been the same register of qualia, experiencing the same anomalous qualia memories from another time and another place, with the same spiritual purpose. A different biology, and thus, a different personality, hence a different ego. A different biological container for an eternal consciousness, on its journey from Zero to One; a different shell of foam. Consciousness is key.

This time five years ago:
No God for those that don't believe; God for those that do

This time six years ago:
Work proceeding around Jeziorki

This time seven years ago:
Karczunkowska reopens to traffic

This time 12 years ago:
Goodness gracious!

This time 13 years ago:
Muddy feet, Warsaw 'pavements'

This time 14 years ago:

Cycling and recycling

This time 15 years ago:
Winter clings on to the forest

This time 16 years ago:
Toyota launches the iQ

This time 17 years ago:
Old school Łódź