A family 'what-if' and the soul

A thought struck me in the middle of the night. My father was one of three sons; my mother was one of three daughters. The age-range between the three Dembinski boys and the three Bortnik girls was about the same as the difference between me and my brother. 

What, then, if my parents had had another child – with the statistical probability of the child being a boy – between me (born in October 1957) and Marek (born in January 1963)?

I use Bayesian inference to suggest he would also have been given a Christian name beginning with an 'M' that works reasonably well in Polish as well as in English, so a Marcin/Martin rather than a Mieczysław. As I lay awake in bed, so many questions followed. Had my parents planned for such a family – and planners they were – to replicate their own childhood family structures, how would our lives had shaped up had a Marcin been born in late 1960? 

Would a third child have prompted an earlier house move – to a bigger house in a shabbier neighbourhood maybe – or would the extra expenditure on food (clothing being passed down) delayed a house move? Would Marcin have passed his Eleven Plus exam and gone to a grammar school as I did (by the time Marek finished primary school, selective education had been replaced by the comprehensive system)? And which university would he have chosen?

I'm sure Marcin would also have been an 'Airfix boy', as Marek and I were, as well as joining the Polish scouts and going to Polish Saturday school. But would he have felt more Polish (as I did) or more British (as Marek did)? And where would Marcin have ended up living? Stoke-on-Trent or Sopot?

What would Marcin be like? Any extraordinary powers? A gifted musician, for example? A great chess player? Left- or right-brain-hemisphere dominance? On the autism spectrum or struggling with attention deficit? Or a bit of both? Slightly taller than Marek but slightly shorter than me? What about family dynamics? Would I, as a two-year-old, have been as jealous of Marcin's birth as Moni was of her brother being born when she was that age? (As it was, by the time Marek was born, I was already at primary school and a baby brother was a minor distraction rather than a rival for my parents' love.) Would Marcin have grown up siding more with me against Marek, or with Marek against me? 

And had there been a Marcin, would Marek have been different? Well of course! Far more different to how he is than how different I would have been to how I am, given the effect of male hormones in the womb after successive pregnancies; birth order is significant.

Marcin might have been christened 'Marek', the name 'Marcin' being used for Marek; how would my brother's personality been changed by the simple substitution of his name? Nominative determinism?

I have often pondered on whom I'd have been had my parents never met. Intuitively, my answer is – different ego, same consciousness. Different parents, different body; but fundamentally I'd have been the same register of qualia, experiencing the same anomalous qualia memories from another time and another place, with the same spiritual purpose. A different biology, and thus, a different personality, hence a different ego. A different biological container for an eternal consciousness, on its journey from Zero to One; a different shell of foam. Consciousness is key.

This time five years ago:
No God for those that don't believe; God for those that do

This time six years ago:
Work proceeding around Jeziorki

This time seven years ago:
Karczunkowska reopens to traffic

This time 12 years ago:
Goodness gracious!

This time 13 years ago:
Muddy feet, Warsaw 'pavements'

This time 14 years ago:

Cycling and recycling

This time 15 years ago:
Winter clings on to the forest

This time 16 years ago:
Toyota launches the iQ

This time 17 years ago:
Old school Łódź

Local elections, Poland, 2024 (Pt II)

As it happened, despite what I observed at Polling Station No. 626 (primary school on ulica Sarabandy), the overall turnout across Poland was disappointingly low at 51% (far lower than the 74% in last autumn’s parliamentary vote). In Jeziorki, turnout was 64%.

Warsaw's Rafał Trzaskowski won 57.4%, a resounding first-round victory for a popular mayor. He was one of four big-city mayors who won in the first round, along with the incumbents in Łódź, Gdańsk and Katowice. Other than Katowice’s mayor, a local independent, these are all Civic Coalition (KO) members. 

Kraków, Wrocław and Poznań will require a second round of mayoral elections as no candidate received more than 50% of the vote; the second-round mayoral elections will be on Sunday 21 April. 

In a result mirroring October’s parliamentary election, PiS won the largest vote share (34.3%) but lost power overall. KO won 30.6%, Trzecia Droga won 14.3%,  Konfederacja/Bezpartyjni Samorządowcy 7.2% and Lewica 6.3%. Trzecia Droga (including PSL, the agrarian party) really should have done better. The brand, now established as a part of the government coalition, was expected to push PiS aside across rural Poland, but failed to do that. Lewica was the real loser of these elections, maybe because so few young people bothered to vote. This will weaken them within the governing coalition, of which they are the junior party.

The next few days will see deals being made between parties at voivodship level to determine who will have overall control of them. Despite winning a higher vote share, PiS is likely to lose power in two or three voivodships, leaving the party with a majority in six of the 16 local parliaments (sejmiki), in the south-east corner of Poland. 

Once the deals have been made and the constitution of all local councils is known, there will be a clearer picture as to what effect the local elections will have on citizens' lives on a day-to-day level. 

I am a great believer in the influence of local governments in shaping quality of life. Environmental quality (air quality, waste collection and recycling, traffic management, public transport). Poland today has advanced hugely over the country to which I moved in 1997, to the benefit of all in the above regards. I'd like to see better public transport, less dumping of household waste and litter, better air quality (less burning crap to warm houses), and more provision of pavements and footpaths for pedestrians. 

Compared to the UK, where local taxes ('rates') are astronomical, Polish land tax is laughably low, although this is augmented by income tax, which is collected locally and remains with the local authority in which you are registered. Corporation tax and VAT are collected and spent at the national level. 

Next up will be the European parliamentary elections – I hope these are taken seriously by Poles young and old, and that populism will not be given a free hand because of indifference and complacency.

This time seven years ago:
Conscious prayer

This time nine years ago:
History repeating - or is it?

This time 11 years ago:
Sunshine, snow, April

This time 13 years ago:
In vino veritas

This time 14 years ago:
Are we getting more intelligent?

This time 15 years ago:
Lenten recipe No. 6

This time 16 years ago:
Coal trains, Konstancin-Jeziorna

This time 17 years ago:
Jeziorki from the air

Local elections, Poland, 2024

This morning I travelled into Jeziorki to cast my votes in the Polish local elections. Four ballot slips – for Mayor of Warsaw, the Warsaw city council, the Ursynów district council, and the Mazovia provincial parliament. Polish democracy is alive and well; the polling station was full, maybe not as full as at the national parliamentary elections in October. Maybe of all the elections I have voted in since moving to Poland, this had the second-highest turnout. People with ballot papers were standing around waiting for a table to fill in the ballot papers. There were as many young people as old people voting, and the atmosphere was more festive than in October when voters were eyeing each other thinking "is he/she going to vote for the existential threat that is my political enemy?"

Today, in the spring sunshine, knowing that there's less at stake than the future of Poland (more autocratic or less autocratic?), the electorate still turned up en masse to take part in the due process of democracy. On the agenda today were bus lanes, rubbish collection and local infrastructure, rather than rule of law, women's rights and macroeconomic policy. Just as important to the way we live our lives.

Some local observations, then. Central Warsaw is booming. A modern, prosperous, safe, clean city (according to visiting Londoners), which has witnessed phenomenal growth. Mayor Rafał Trzaskowski was comfortably re-elected for a second term. Warsaw's outer suburbs – a story of sprawl. New estates, lacking in amenities, lacking even in asphalted roads in and out. No public transport, so everyone's condemned to car use, and cars are choking outer Warsaw. "We can't afford to live in Warsaw, because we've got the upkeep of two cars to pay for," is a usual moan. The idea of living in Warsaw, well-connected with public transport, but without a car, is too much of a stretch for most.

Further out, in Chynów, the pre-election campaigning, visible in the form of banners stretched out on fences, showed a strong preference for PSL, the agrarian party, now part of the PL2050 coalition. Posters and banners for PiS came second. Interestingly, a number of PSL banners were slashed – across the faces of the candidates. 

Decisions made at local level include planning permission, environmental protection, water, sewage and waste management, traffic management; these are all responsibilities of the gminas (municipalities).  At the poviat (district) level, powers include public transport, maintenance of district roads, land surveying and the issuing of work permits to foreigners. Powers at voivodship level are shared between the voivode (governor) appointed centrally by the prime minister; the sejmik (regional assembly) and the marshal, serving as the provincial chief executive. The voivode acts as the head of central government institutions at regional level (such as the police and fire services, passport offices, and various inspectorates). The sejmik passes by-laws, including the voivodship's development strategies and budget. It also elects the marshal and other members of the executive, and holds them to account. The executive, headed by the marshal, drafts the budget and development strategies, implements the resolutions of the sejmik, and deals with regional policy, including management of EU funding. 

Results tomorrow.

This time five years ago:
Morning flashback

This time eight years ago:
In which I learn to speak

This time nine years ago:
Sunshine and snow, Łazienki Park

This time ten years ago:
Shopping habits in the wake of Lidl's opening 

This time 11 years ago:
In vino veritas

This time 12 years ago:
Are we getting more intelligent?

This time 13 years ago:
Lenten recipe No. 6

This time 14 years ago:
Coal trains, Konstancin-Jeziorna

This time 15 years ago:
Jeziorki from the air

Budy Sułkowskie

Last year I wrote about the new road bridge over the river Czarna between Sułkowice and Gabryelin, and this January, I took a walk over the wetlands along the Czarna when they froze over. After the bridge was built, a new hardened road, made of paving stones rather than asphalt, was laid along the southern edge of the village of Ławki. Local maps have been redrawn to show at last something more than a muddy track leading Budy Sułkowskie, which maintains the picturesque and timeless charm of a Mazovian village now most lost to development and progress.

This is ulica Cicha (literally, 'Quiet Street') in the village of Budy Sułkowskie. The word budy is the plural of buda, which means 'hut' or 'shed' or 'shack' – and is not a complimentary term in the context of a group of buildings.  As the result of a referendum held in 2016, Budy Sułkowskie have been incorporated into the much larger village of Sułkowice to the south, home to the famous police-dog training centre. Wooden cottages and barns, agricultural machinery, narrow fields.

Below: looking along the newly-hardened road. I wonder whether paving stones are cheaper to lay than asphalt for such a long stretch. To the right, fenced off, recreational działki in Ławki, and to the left, agriculture in Budy Sułkowskie.

Below: in January, these wetlands were solid frozen; today I wet my socks wading through here, worth it though, to experience this marshy land transitioning swiftly into spring mode. I caught sight of a swan through the the reeds. In the distance, the Warsaw-Radom railway line.

Left: progress was slow, though the water was not deep. In the distance, the rail bridge over the Czarna river, pictured below. The bridge has steps at either end and a walkway separated from the tracks. I sit down on the steps, take off my boots and socks, draining the former and wringing the latter. My feet are dry by the time I enter Sułkowice. A Koleje Mazowieckie train heads north for Warsaw.

Left: there's no official way to enter Sułkowice station from the north end of the 'down' platform. Unlike Ustanówek or Zalesie Górne or Piaseczno stations, where PKP PLK built  proper access at both ends, here, local unofficial solutions are needed. Planks over the ditch between track and footpath, and wooden steps help passengers up to platform level. I don't understand PKP PLK's policy – some stations get access, others don't. For people living north of Sułkowice station, the official way round is a four-to-seven-minute detour, walking along a road without a pavement or street lights.

Below: back at Chynów. Short hop by train, ticket cost me 2.73zł, or 54p (with my 30% over 60s' discount). Another northbound Koleje Mazowieckie train pulls into the station. The trains are frequent, reliable and inexpensive.

It warmed up nicely today; I set off at 14:00 wearing a shirt and leather jacket – after half an hour's walk I had to take the jacket off and stow it in my rucksack. A westerly breeze added to the comfort level. 

This time five years ago:
Działka remont update

This time six years ago:
Łódź is a film set

This time seven years ago
Contemplative imagery, Ealing and Warsaw

This time 12 years ago:
Baffled: my first visit to Jeziorki's Lidl 

This time 13 years ago:
In vino veritas?

This time 14 two years ago:
Are we getting more intelligent?

This time 15 years ago:
Lenten recipe: tuna, chickpea and pesto salad

This time 16 years ago:
Coal train sidings, Konstancin-Jeziorna

This time 16 years ago:
Jeziorki from the air

Summer in early spring

Yesterday - 1 April 2024, the temperature hit 24C. Third hot day in a row. Indeed, on Easter Sunday, the maximum temperature in Warsaw was 25.8C, the highest ever recorded in March. Temperature records are falling with alarming regularity.

Out on a post-Easter walk (15,000 paces), I walked into Chynów bought myself a tin of cold beer at the Moja petrol station, and then back along ulica Spokojna until I reached the pine forest. Beer is unbeatable for quenching thirst on a hot day. Far superior to a sugary fizzy drink or even water. Following the forest's edge, I found a spot at the far end. I pulled out the waterproof jacket from my rucksack and sat down on it, over a bed of dry needles with my back rested on a pine tree to enjoy some feldalkohol – my first since Ash Wednesday. A glorious, meditative, experience. Twigs, branches, moss, warmth, a bumblebee the size of a hazelnut buzzes around me inquisitively. Bliss to be alive. An exquisite joy.

Left: April has just started; this weather is perfect. Summer in April. (But what does this presage for August? Record highs of over 40C?)

In the meanwhile, the sky is clear, no breeze. Bird song. Blackbirds, larks, a cuckoo, the staccato tapping of a distant woodpecker. A buzzard circles over the field between the forest and orchard.

Below: looking across the forest towards ul. Spokojna. All of a sudden, I am minded of the film Ukraine: Enemy in the Woods,  filmed, produced and directed by Jamie Roberts (thanks for the recommendation, Marek!). Here in the forest, peace, warmth, a time for contemplation. Eight hundred miles to the east in Kupiansk, Ukrainians are fighting for their homeland, and indeed for the security of Europe. I am deeply grateful to every one of them and pray for their safety in the bunkers and trenchs of the front line.

Here in Chynów, there's no artillery, no shell-bursts, no toppling trees, no drones buzzing overhead, no Russian soldiers advancing through the wood. Peace and quiet. May it stay this way.

The poignant moment passes; time to get up and walk home. Lent is over; summer is coming – anticipating the warmth and light is the best part of it.

The clocks went forward on Saturday night, on Easter morning. How does one deal with the spring time change? The autumn one is easy – just ignore it. Go to bed an hour early, wake up an hour early. Don't accept that extra hour in bed that they seductively offer us. An 11pm-7am sleep becomes an 10pm-6am sleep. 

But what happens in spring? It's not as easy as going back to 11pm to 7am, because we've slipped back to that routine over the five months of wintertime. So midnight to 8am? Tough if you need to be in the office by 9am! And anyway, in autumn, the days are shrinking, nights are long, so where you place your eight hours of sleep is not that important. 

But now, the days are getting longer; we'll gain almost another two hours in the evening and another two hours in the morning before the summer solstice. You wake up late, realise you've lost a precious hour of daylight and feel guilty about it all day long.

So – after a second night of going to bed after midnight and then waking up after 8am, I decide that the best way of dealing with the spring time-change should be the same as for the autumn time change. Go to bed an hour earlier. This is both counter-intuitive and unnatural, but at least daylight is optimised.

The clocks going back result in many extra cases of seasonal affective disorder; the clocks going forward result is many extra cases of heart attacks (Google Gemini tells me: "The American Heart Association cites a study showing a possible 24% rise in heart attacks the Monday following the spring time change. A Michigan study found a similar increase in heart attacks on that same day.") Take it easy!

This time five years ago:
Can't find peace of mind

This time six years ago:
On Learning and Living

This time eight years ago:
Goats and hares

This time nine years ago:
Białystok the Dull

This time 16 years ago:
Crushed velvet dusk in my City of Dreams

This time 17 years ago:
My second Jeziorki blog post, also from this day

Back on track for a rail binge-out

Well, after 47 consecutive days of human-spirituality prose, high time for a change. Lots has been going on rail-wise, so I'm going to unapologetically splurge on a whole load of rail-related photo content.

To Piaseczno for a family lunch at Restauracja Odjazd, the old waiting room at Piaseczno Miasto Wąskotorowa station (excellent food, service, ambience and price!). Below: the former terminal of the narrow-gauge line that once ran all the way to Nowe Miasto nad Pilicą, via Tarczyn and Grójec, the line today runs only as a tourist attraction from April to October, and then only as far as the outskirts of Tarczyn.

Below: now a museum run by volunteers, this little railway has great scope for potential. Especially with steam engines.

Below: looking west along the narrow-gauge line; this is Piaseczno Wiadukt station, a pair of platforms, serving as an interchange with the main line which runs in the cutting below the bridge visible beyond the platform ends.  If big plans are to come to pass, it may be extended out to Grójec as part of the CPK project – a modernised local feeder line for both the high-speed railway network and the central Polish airport. I'm sceptical about the latter, enthusiastic about the former.

Below: meanwhile in Chynów, folk are sceptical about the entire CPK project. Of the four variants of the line connecting the main Warsaw-Radom railway to the new airport, Chynów's local council voted down... all four. BANANAs (Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone = hardcore NIMBYism).

Below: the Radomiak limited-stop service to Skarżysko-Kamienna has been running late often over the past few weeks with delays of up to half an hour noted. Here comes the double-decker, engine to the fore, making up time between Czachówek Południowy and Chynów.

Below: the days are getting longer! Here's the Radomiak in early March in darkness whilst on time, loco pushing from the rear, passing through Sułkowice station without stopping, while a Warsaw-bound local train heads north.

Below: another seriously delayed Radomiak, pulling out (or rather being pushed out, as the engine is at the rear) of Chynów station last week. The all-stations train that it should have passed back at Czachówek Południowy is way ahead; the Radomiak will probably catch up and overtake it at Warka.

Below: five loco-hauled carriages forming the InterCity San express from Warsaw to Przemyśl between Sułkowice and Chynów stations. The journey still entails a change at Ostrowiec Świętokrzyski for a replacement bus service to Sandomierz. Work on modernising the line is massively delayed.

Below: the San express passing through Sułkowice a few days earlier.

Below: the San here, approaching Chynów station at speed, is formed of a mere three carriages, the engine has the old-style round headlamps which I find more aesthetically pleasing than the rectangular ones.

Below: I prefer the old loco-hauled expresses to look at, but prefer to travel in the new-style electric units because they are guaranteed to have a buffet car. These services link Olsztyn and Kraków, and the northbound and southbound services usually pass each other somewhere between Piaseczno and Warka if they're not running late. Here's the southbound Kolberg (left)  passing the northbound Sienkiewicz (right) near Chynów station.

Goods trains are a relative rarity on the Warsaw-Radom line south of the Czachówek junction; it was said on the Skyscraper City forum recently that there's not enough juice in the overhead cables to power heavy goods locos. And yet, I am starting to see them appear, not just diesels.

Below: a coupled pair of ET41 locos hauling an 'up' coal train wait at the passing platform at Chynów station for the 08:36 passenger train to town (the one I'll be travelling on) to pass through. While the driver is waiting, he takes the opportunity to conduct a visual check of his engines.

Below: a southbound Cemet cement train between Sułkowice and Chynów, again, electric hauled, this time by a modern PESA Gama 111Ed loco.

Below: cisterns on the Skierniewice-Łuków line pass under my Warsaw-bound train, Czachówek diamond.

Below: up the line from the end of the platform at Sułkowice, looking towards Czachówek Południowy.

Below: big news for the west of Warsaw: after God knows how long, the modernisation of the tram tracks along ulica Kasprzaka is complete. The day after the grand opening, I get off my train a stop early, and rather than take the Metro to the office from W-wa Młynów, I decide to take the tram from W-wa Wola. A mistake, as it turned out.

Below: tram jam outside Zajezdnia Wola (the Wola tram depot). As it's only the second day since the line along ul. Kasprzaka opened; the system evidently can't cope. My tram was stationary for about ten minutes; we were lucky as there's a tram stop on this side of the junction. Passengers in the trams you can see coming the other way were stuck for much longer.

Below: on the way home, however, all is well. The trams are now running smoothly, and I catch my train to Chynów. The sun is setting beyond distant Wola.

Below: Warsaw West (W-wa Zachodnia) is coming on; news this week is that tunnelling work under the station to create a pedestrian walkway (and later a tram track) has broken through to link the districts of Wola (to the left) to Ochota (to the right). In the meanwhile, all trains from Radom are still going round Warsaw rather than through its centre, and will continue doing so until work at W-wa Zachodnia is complete. Another eight months? Or another year and eight months?

Below: looking into town from the end of the platform of W-wa Służewiec station. Coming round the bend is an SKM train headed for Piaseczno. Szybka Kolej Miejska (rapid urban rail) is operated by Warsaw's city authorities as part of its integrated transport network. As such, it is comparable to London's Overground lines. On the footbridge in the distance, the words "MOMENTS LIKE THIS NEVER LAST" Another existentialist soul – perhaps the spiritual successor to the Master of Paddington, whose work "FAR AWAY IS CLOSE AT HAND IN IMAGES OF ELSEWHERE" was visible in similarly sized white lettering on a brick wall approaching that London terminus from the mid-1970s to the mid-1980s.

Below: sunset at Chynów station just before the clocks went forward. From just after six pm to just after seven. This altering of clocks must stop. The advent of the programmable video-cassette recorder should have put an end to it; still this nonsense persists.
 

This time seven years ago:
Ten years of blogging

This time eight years ago:
Białystok the Dull

This time 11 years ago:
UK's first town where Poles are a majority

This time 12 years ago:
Lost legend of rock'n'roll: Johnny Kołyma

This time 13 years ago:
Stalin's plans to escalate nuclear Armageddon

This time 14 years ago:
Warsaw's favourite weekend destination

This time 15 years ago:
We are two

This time 16 years ago:
Crushed velvet dusk in my City of Dreams

This time 17 years ago:
My first blog post on W-wa Jeziorki

Triumph: Easter Sunday 2024

Today I celebrate. As every year, the view from my window has changed radically from Ash Wednesday (typically overcast, sleet falling from leaden clouds, the vegetation dead) to Easter Sunday (typically warm, trees coming slowly into leaf). This year, the seasons have changed sooner than usual, despite an early Easter. Right now it's 26C outside, the windows and door are open (it's a mere 22C inside), green shoots, butterflies and bees have emerged to enjoy the sunlight.

Spring has triumphed over winter; a new phase begins. Birds are busy building nests; the garden is full of birdsong. Blossoms, leaves – then fruit, vegetables. Already, I have noticed the first shoots of sorrel emerging from the ground; within a week or so, there should be leaves for salads, stews and soups.

Lent is over; so meat is back on the diet, although I can't say I miss it that much (OK, for pure pleasure, a nice fillet steak takes a lot of beating, but for day-to-day menus there's no need). I broke with tradition by not having a midnight beer and whisky; those can wait until tomorrow. Girth round the middle is 94.2cm (down from 101.6cm in January 2014 when I began logging my exercise and alcohol intake)

And so, that was my 33rd Lent in my 66th year, and I find myself in good physical and mental health and spiritually uplifted, for which I offer up gratitude to the Cosmic Purpose. No room for complacency, for taking blessing for granted. A milestone in the eternal journey from Zero to One. Still much to grasp, to understand, to ponder.

It is time to celebrate a work in progress, for triumph will not come until the end of times.

Triumph of good over evil

– Of life over death

– Of emergence over entropy

– Of complexity over chaos

– Of health over illness

– Of wisdom over ignorance

– Of friendship over enmity

– Of peace over war

– Of fairness over injustice

– Of calm over anger

Best wishes to all my readers. A good time for Handel's Messiah, performed here by the John Alldis Choir with the London Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by Karl Richter. Our family favourite version.

Some contrasting Easter Sundays from years gone by.

Easter Sunday 2019
In Ealing, enjoying 24C on 21 April

Easter Sunday 2013
(It used to snow on Easter Sunday – that year, it also fell on 31 March)

Easter Sunday 2008
(Snow on Easter Sunday – in England! On 23 March that year. Very early)

Why do we exist? Why does anything exist: Lent 2024, Day 46

As this year's Lent comes towards its end, time to wrap up. The biggest question/unquestion* of them all – why do we exist, and why indeed does anything exist rather than nothing at all?^?

Caught up in daily routine, there's little time to consider ontology – what is existence. Many would even argue that it's a waste of time to even consider such abstractions. Better get on with earning money, spending money and projecting one's ego to a higher rung of the status hierarchy.

Curiosity ought to get the better of us. It should make us stop and reflect. It should do, but doesn't necessarily do so. Getting off the treadmill, even temporarily, to step back, step beyond, to take the meta-view, is essential.

{{ I feel guided. }}

Why is there something rather than nothing? Physicalists, atheists, would merely posit randomness; the Universe just emerged the way it did, get over it and go shopping. We are nothing more than random collections of atoms moving through spacetime in a predetermined way.

But it doesn't feel that way to me. I strongly sense a purpose, a direction, an aim, a goal. I also sense the ant-like insignificance of my individual life, yet subjectively, it is my individual life, as is yours, as is everyone's, which sits at the centre of the Universe. Without you to observe the Universe, would it exist? Well, to you, no it wouldn't. But without any conscious observer, would it exist? Personally, I feel it wouldn't. Unlike Giulio Tononi or Donald Hoffman, I cannot express that thought as a mathematical formula, but I most certainly intuit it.

Big-C consciousness has created small-c consciousness, dispersed across the Cosmos, with a purpose; to observe wave-functions as they collapse in quantum mechanics. Treat that statement metaphorically: everything you observe is driven by purpose.

Catholic theology would have us believe that God created the heavens and earth so that all Creation could praise Him. [ "The world was made for the glory of God."] I feel that this is an attempt to anthropomorphise the mystery to a level that all believers could accept simply without having to question. 

Does God need glorification? Egos do, Consciousness doesn't. Quietly, consciousness experiences and observes; our brain cogitates over that which consciousness brings to us. And a Big-C consciousness does so to, looking down at the Cosmos as we peer up at the night sky.

Big-C consciousness needs small-c consciousnesses to observe it and make it thus.

Is God perfect? It is my intuition that the entire Cosmos is a work in progress, on an eternal journey from Zero to One, improving all the while. So currently, to us, no – God is not perfect, but was and will be. Where my thinking, however (thinking as distinct from intuition), is leading me, is to separate the notion of time as we see it, and time as it functions on the Cosmic scale. In a block universe, there is no past or future, just an eternal Now. This, of course, is not how we experience it. However, a photon, travelling at the speed of light, doesn't experience time at all. This suggests that the entire history of the Universe is happens simultaneously to photons. "And God said, Let there be light: and there was light." (Genesis, 1:3)

Left: The First Day of Creation, by Francisco de Holanda (1545), from De Aetatibus Mundi Imagines.

I am struck by the way the authors of Genesis and evangelist St John intuited the Big Bang, a something-out-of-nothing that has purpose and intent, a beginning and an end.

* An unquestion – ask it of the Zen master, and the Zen master will answer it with a swipe of the bamboo rod across your shoulders. Ideally, this is not a question that should be answered, nor should it even be asked; question and the answer are to be intuited. However, this is not an ideal world, nor have I reached any kind of mastery. And so, dear readers, here's the question and my putative answer to it.

Lent 2023, Day 46
The summary, finale

Lent 2022: Day 46
Easter Everywhere, but not Ukraine

Lent 2021: Day 46
The summing up

Lent 2020: Day 46
Nor followers, nor leaders; one's own way to God